Happy Mother's Day Future Self

May 14, 2017

Happy Mother's Day Future Self

Dear Future Self,

I want save you from any regret or unnecessary sadness. I want to assure you that I am enjoying this time as much as humanly possible. As a Mother's Day Gift to you, I offer this gentle reminder. Being the parent of small children is an something akin to being given box seats to the super bowl when your team is playing, but having to get a Brazilian wax while you are there. Yes it's an incredible, exhilarating, life changing experience, but it hurts like hell.

Okay, maybe it's more like getting to see your favorite show in the theater but having someone poking you in the eye the whole time. No wait, that's a thing that actually happened to me, because I have small children. In the last month I have: been punched in the face, stepped on vomit, had my kitchen coated with cornstarch, had my keys stolen and hidden beneath the office desk, had romantic interludes interrupted by a child banging on the bedroom door, cared for chicken pox ridden children, cleaned up my child's poop off of my friends new flooring, discovered that if my 5 year old is wearing underwear on his head when he sleepwalks into our room there is a good chance he is going to pee all over the kitchen floor, had to pull a tick off of my three year old, and steadily put in 98 hour work weeks. I haven't slept for 10 years and the likelihood of uninterrupted night of rest seems as probable winning the lotto.

I say all that to say, you don't need to feel bad when you look back and miss this time. And you don't need to tell moms with small children that we will miss it.

Because, frankly, we don't believe you. We are up to our eyeballs in soiled underpants over here, and we can't see any end in sight.

What you could do, however, is give us a little encouragement . Tell us we are doing a good job (even if you have to stretch the truth), tell us we can make it, tell us something we are doing right. Most of all, tell us that it's worth all of the sacrifice. Tell us that we won't regret pouring out the entirety of who we are on mostly ungrateful recipients. Tell us we won't regret that we gave up our bodies, our freedom and our sanity to pursue a wild life of abandoned love and sacrifice. Tell us we won't regret being selfless in this season, that we haven't really lost ourselves in service to our family; we've merely been planted like the seed the Bible mentions, that has to die before it bears much fruit. Give us new sun glasses and tell us we are gonna need them because the future is so bright.

And then there is one other thing..... about telling someone something they may not notice. Well, I'll let you keep telling moms of wee ones that they will miss it if you do me a favor. Listen to me. You may not remember how hard it is, so that's why I am telling you. When your kids get bigger and you are enjoying a new season of life, don't forget the new moms. I'm pretty good now because I've got tremendous in-house helpers. But having babies and toddlers is enough to send a person over the edge. It's just really, really, damn hard. Sometimes you feel like you can't breathe. I've been blessed with family in town and friends and a budget for babysitting, but not everyone is. If you get the chance, remember where you were. Help out those new moms, sign up for the meal train and bring people food. It might literally save someone's life. Be nosy, be a mentor, invite people over who have younger kids than you and BLESS THEM. Be intentional to help those who are coming up behind you, because you sure as hell would have never made it this far alone. God knew we needed each other.

Happy Mother's Day to you - Veteran Mom - You have gone the distance and run your race well. You have no idea how you inspire and give hope to all who wonder if we will make it to the teen years, let alone weather them with grace. Keep on Keeping on - we are in this together!