Nuggets of life.

Well this is about the brightest thing in my life these days. Would you look at all that 6 week old cuteness?

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Yesterday I bought pre-shucked corn on the cob. My husband was appalled, mostly by the price. When we were discussing it on the way home from Costco, Joe asked which was more expensive corn on or off the cob. I told him buying it on the cob was more expensive and he replied, "Why, do they glue it on there?"


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While in the midst of a diaper change poop came shooting out of Violet all over the place. I called Judah for backup, and extra diapers. While he came running with diapers he shouted, "She shoots poop! Is that how she defends herself against being changed?"

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Two nights ago there was a major breakdown in the house, including uncontrollable weeping by more than one member of the family. I have been operation on a severe sleep deficit and words were spoken and received in not necessarily the best way. Feelings were hurt. I was desperate and had failed as a mother. There had been lots of yelling at children that day, well lets be honest, that's pretty much every day lately.

It is easy to feel like a failure, especially when you choose to meditate on your faults. (something I don't recommend, by the way.) If you do choose to mediate on your weakness and imperfection it will not lead to holiness. I have discovered this and so I thought I might save you the time of going through the painful process of discovery yourself. What this sort of downward inward meditation will lead to is usually tears and perhaps yelling. Anyhow, like He always does, God came in his mercy and rescued me and helped me to pull my thoughts off of myself and on to Him. Instead of thinking about my messy house I can revel in his work of grace that set me free from sin and death. Instead of worrying about ruining my children, I can rest in his promise that my children shall be taught of him and filled with peace. You get the idea.

Well the day after the major meltdown I found Joe on the front porch writing something, which he obviously tried to cover when I came out. I worried, could he be writing obscenities, was he drawing pictures of naked women. What was he hiding? Later he had to go to bed and he tucked this hidden paper away. I saw it and went to investigate after he was asleep. It was a letter, poorly written, with many scratched out words (we've been out of school for awhile I can see). I figured it might be some kind of journal entry about what a horrible mother I am. What I read surprised me. Through the slanted misspelled words I read words of kindness, love and encouragement. "I'm sorry your stressed out." "I know how it feels." "You can do it." and finally, "You are the best mom ever."
And again, I cried.

This is grace, getting what you don't deserve.