Seeking Beauty

I look around the shipwreck of my life and I search for the beauty I so long for. I see the beauty that I have lost. What do I miss?  

I miss the sparkling castles erected in honor of my perfection. 

I miss the beauty of a carefully laid, well executed plan. 

I miss the beauty of precision, order and intention, brought forth in a manner and time of my own choosing. 

I miss the beauty of curation, acquisition of loveliness for display.

I miss the beauty of template, ensconcing my home and life in tranquility and design. 

I miss the beauty of quiet, serene moments marking unpainted canvases of opportunity.

In thoughtful revery I grasp that I am missing beauty in my life, but if I linger there I miss the beauty my life does reveal. 

I miss the beauty of timeless treasure that has been placed in my arms.

I miss the beauty of undrunk cups of coffee and unslept nights poured upon the alter of history.

I miss the beauty of the fuzzy peach soft skin tangerine sweet gauze of baby newness that hangs over the stunning mess of my life.

I miss the sparkle in the eyes that gaze back at me and represent eternity.

I miss the breath of heaven that pours out day to day, linking past to future through my broken frame.

I miss the beauty, grace disguised in the mundane, that turns a walk through a valley of dry and broken bones into a chance to hear the whisper of the Devine.