Things I'm thankful for.
Be joyful always; 17pray continually; 18give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. ! Thessalonians 5:18
And so here are some things that I am thankful for
1) There might have been an empty spot beside my bed where there should have been a bassinet and a baby. When I came home from the hospital and every subsequent time I went into my bedroom I might have noticed the blatant emptiness of the room. But I don't, instead, every time I go into my bedroom I see the most beautiful bouquet of perfect white roses that Josh and Celeste lovingly placed by my bedside. I am thankful that every time I get into bed I am reminded of the great beauty, purity and innocence of my beloved daughter in heaven.
2)I am thankful to have delivered my baby at Holy Family hospital, where at least 7 members of the staff told me they would be praying for our family. Our nurse even left the hospital after she got off duty and went up to sacred heart to get us a memory box for our baby, because they were out at Holy Family. We were given 4 books about grieving, including one for our children. We were treated as though we had lost a real person, a precious member of our family.
3) I am thankful to live in this country, in this time, where grieving the loss of a stillborn baby is encouraged. In times past, probably in my grandmother's generation for sure, maybe even my mother's, women were encouraged to forget about their babies and everyone was supposed to pretend that nothing happened. I guess this was supposed to make everyone feel better- but didn't. I'm glad that I feel the freedom to grieve and that so many people join in and support me.
4)I am thankful to have the most wonderful man in the world for my husband. This topic alone could exhaust 364 blogs all about how amazing my man is. I will spare you this information and just say that I think I am radically blessed.
5)I am thankful that my husband doesn't judge my good wifeliness by my ability to keep the house clean.
6) I am thankful for the kindness of strangers ..... and mailmen. Today I got a package from the mailman, not even our mailman but one I knew from the office where I used to work. He asked about how I was doing and I told him about Isabelle. He was so kind and compassionate. He told us his prayers are with us. Undeserved kindness keeps hitting me from all angles. When my mom was ordering the cake for Isabelle's memorial, the cake lady even broke down and started crying with her on the phone.
7) I am thankful for my son, Judah, and that he is in an especially cute stage right now. Today I asked him if he would get me a shirt. He brought me one of his shirts, unfortunately it was a bit too small for me - but he was so proud of himself that he actually jumped for joy once he delivered it. He also has this endearing habit of looking at you and smiling a giant smile - for no reason in particular.
8) That my house smells like flowers.
9) That there happen to be not one but two fun dance shows to watch on tv and the new fall lineup is out so I can watch new episodes of my favorite shows (Office, House and the Mentalist) if I need an escape from grief for awhile.
10) The thing I think I am the most thankful for right now is that I got the chance to be the mother of a very special little girl. I will always treasure the 9 months I had with her, cradling her gently in my womb and holding her close to my heart. Thank you, God, for my little baby Belle, I only wish I could have kept her longer.
And so here are some things that I am thankful for
1) There might have been an empty spot beside my bed where there should have been a bassinet and a baby. When I came home from the hospital and every subsequent time I went into my bedroom I might have noticed the blatant emptiness of the room. But I don't, instead, every time I go into my bedroom I see the most beautiful bouquet of perfect white roses that Josh and Celeste lovingly placed by my bedside. I am thankful that every time I get into bed I am reminded of the great beauty, purity and innocence of my beloved daughter in heaven.
2)I am thankful to have delivered my baby at Holy Family hospital, where at least 7 members of the staff told me they would be praying for our family. Our nurse even left the hospital after she got off duty and went up to sacred heart to get us a memory box for our baby, because they were out at Holy Family. We were given 4 books about grieving, including one for our children. We were treated as though we had lost a real person, a precious member of our family.
3) I am thankful to live in this country, in this time, where grieving the loss of a stillborn baby is encouraged. In times past, probably in my grandmother's generation for sure, maybe even my mother's, women were encouraged to forget about their babies and everyone was supposed to pretend that nothing happened. I guess this was supposed to make everyone feel better- but didn't. I'm glad that I feel the freedom to grieve and that so many people join in and support me.
4)I am thankful to have the most wonderful man in the world for my husband. This topic alone could exhaust 364 blogs all about how amazing my man is. I will spare you this information and just say that I think I am radically blessed.
5)I am thankful that my husband doesn't judge my good wifeliness by my ability to keep the house clean.
6) I am thankful for the kindness of strangers ..... and mailmen. Today I got a package from the mailman, not even our mailman but one I knew from the office where I used to work. He asked about how I was doing and I told him about Isabelle. He was so kind and compassionate. He told us his prayers are with us. Undeserved kindness keeps hitting me from all angles. When my mom was ordering the cake for Isabelle's memorial, the cake lady even broke down and started crying with her on the phone.
7) I am thankful for my son, Judah, and that he is in an especially cute stage right now. Today I asked him if he would get me a shirt. He brought me one of his shirts, unfortunately it was a bit too small for me - but he was so proud of himself that he actually jumped for joy once he delivered it. He also has this endearing habit of looking at you and smiling a giant smile - for no reason in particular.
8) That my house smells like flowers.
9) That there happen to be not one but two fun dance shows to watch on tv and the new fall lineup is out so I can watch new episodes of my favorite shows (Office, House and the Mentalist) if I need an escape from grief for awhile.
10) The thing I think I am the most thankful for right now is that I got the chance to be the mother of a very special little girl. I will always treasure the 9 months I had with her, cradling her gently in my womb and holding her close to my heart. Thank you, God, for my little baby Belle, I only wish I could have kept her longer.
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