Whew, November
It's hard to find the perfect balance on my iphone headset, loud enough to drown out Titus's baseball movie, but quiet enough so that I can still hear myself think. I think it is impossible, so this blog is bound to be tainted with shouts from the screaming fans and the blaring worship music in my head.
I went to the Y today. I thought it might be emotional for me to run into people that might recognize me from when I was pregnant. I didn't run into anyone, but it was still emotional. I realized it was the first time I had ever been there without Isabelle. She was my workout buddy. Granted we only did water aerobics together after one failed episode on the treadmill,(there is so much to jiggle when there are two of you trying to jog together) but still, I never went without her. It was a little sad. Last time I was there I remember thinking that pretty soon my baby girl would be coming along and could go in the separate baby area they have just for the wee ones. That never happened.
It was good to exercise though, pitiful as my body is now, I found that the blood can still circulate and it feels good to get the lungs going :)
I was thinking on my way home that November is just sort of an in between nothing kind of month. It starts getting really cold and I don't have the little snuggle buddy I was expecting. I have been pregnant or nursing during the last 5 Novembers (last 5 years actually). It feels a little bit colder this year now that I am not.
Then I remembered that the second best thing that ever happened to me was in November. (in case of insatiable curiousity- the very best thing ever is knowing my Lord and saviour, Jesus.) It was November 1999 when I met my husband, although I didn't know it at the time. I just knew that I met someone that I could talk to, who happened to be taller than me and have sparkling blue eyes. I never would have guessed that he would become my best friend. I also didn't realize until years later that he was an answer to my prayers.
I was 17 years old and within the last year and a half my entire social life had collapsed. That could be rough for anyone, but as a teenager it was especially devastating. I was home schooled and church was my life. I had been a part of a good sized church with a large youth group and a great social network of amazing friends. Somehow, it just sort of unraveled. I went from seeing large groups of people many times a week and having seemingly limitless options of people to call, to feeling sort of alone and isolated. We started a home church in our living room, but the prospects for budding friendships there were limited to say the least.
I had a few very wonderful people in my life during this time, but I asked God for something more. I cried out in my journal for just one friend. Someone who was my age, who shared my passion for God, who I could be completely myself with. I wanted a best friend. I never in a million years expected that this person might be a male. (Trust me, if you knew how anti-male/female relationship my prior church had been, you would know that a man was the last thing I was looking for. My non-church going friend even referred to me as the "nun" because of my avoidance of any male attention. )
But apparently God thought differently, because he sent Titus to my breakfast table one November morning. (Although I think my BIL, Mark, would say it was him, not God who deserves all the credit for this) In this month of Thanksgiving, I cannot say without crying, how truly thankful I am for my husband. I don't know how I would have gotten through this loss without him. He has helped me become stronger than I ever thought I could. He has so much confidence in me that I can't help but feel confident myself. Something about being so completely loved for who I am has allowed me the freedom to discover who that is. I am so grateful.
So here is to completely, wildly unexpected November blessings. I hope that this coming month will hold in store for us all more than we ever thought possible. God has for us more than we can ask or imagine.
I went to the Y today. I thought it might be emotional for me to run into people that might recognize me from when I was pregnant. I didn't run into anyone, but it was still emotional. I realized it was the first time I had ever been there without Isabelle. She was my workout buddy. Granted we only did water aerobics together after one failed episode on the treadmill,(there is so much to jiggle when there are two of you trying to jog together) but still, I never went without her. It was a little sad. Last time I was there I remember thinking that pretty soon my baby girl would be coming along and could go in the separate baby area they have just for the wee ones. That never happened.
It was good to exercise though, pitiful as my body is now, I found that the blood can still circulate and it feels good to get the lungs going :)
I was thinking on my way home that November is just sort of an in between nothing kind of month. It starts getting really cold and I don't have the little snuggle buddy I was expecting. I have been pregnant or nursing during the last 5 Novembers (last 5 years actually). It feels a little bit colder this year now that I am not.
Then I remembered that the second best thing that ever happened to me was in November. (in case of insatiable curiousity- the very best thing ever is knowing my Lord and saviour, Jesus.) It was November 1999 when I met my husband, although I didn't know it at the time. I just knew that I met someone that I could talk to, who happened to be taller than me and have sparkling blue eyes. I never would have guessed that he would become my best friend. I also didn't realize until years later that he was an answer to my prayers.
I was 17 years old and within the last year and a half my entire social life had collapsed. That could be rough for anyone, but as a teenager it was especially devastating. I was home schooled and church was my life. I had been a part of a good sized church with a large youth group and a great social network of amazing friends. Somehow, it just sort of unraveled. I went from seeing large groups of people many times a week and having seemingly limitless options of people to call, to feeling sort of alone and isolated. We started a home church in our living room, but the prospects for budding friendships there were limited to say the least.
I had a few very wonderful people in my life during this time, but I asked God for something more. I cried out in my journal for just one friend. Someone who was my age, who shared my passion for God, who I could be completely myself with. I wanted a best friend. I never in a million years expected that this person might be a male. (Trust me, if you knew how anti-male/female relationship my prior church had been, you would know that a man was the last thing I was looking for. My non-church going friend even referred to me as the "nun" because of my avoidance of any male attention. )
But apparently God thought differently, because he sent Titus to my breakfast table one November morning. (Although I think my BIL, Mark, would say it was him, not God who deserves all the credit for this) In this month of Thanksgiving, I cannot say without crying, how truly thankful I am for my husband. I don't know how I would have gotten through this loss without him. He has helped me become stronger than I ever thought I could. He has so much confidence in me that I can't help but feel confident myself. Something about being so completely loved for who I am has allowed me the freedom to discover who that is. I am so grateful.
So here is to completely, wildly unexpected November blessings. I hope that this coming month will hold in store for us all more than we ever thought possible. God has for us more than we can ask or imagine.
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