Something new and uncomfortable....
For a long time I thought I did not like athletic activities. As a child, I was uncoordinated, lazy and a bit plump. I was not naturally inclined toward sports of any sort. I was not good at things that required skills such as balance and hand-eye coordination.
As I have matured though, I've learned something about myself, I like to be physically active. For so long I missed that because I didn't think I was skilled enough to do anything athletic. That is the problem with having perfectionist tendencies; you think you can't enjoy anything unless you do it well. I am learning that is not the case.
Doing something new, something you are not naturally skilled at, means that you will probably do it poorly. This is a great opportunity to cultivate humility. It is a great opportunity to grow. It is also terribly painful (at least if you have perfectionistic tendencies).
I'm not really even sure why I am writing this. I just know I hate losing. If I feel like I've done something poorly, I feel like I have failed. But the truth God is teaching me is that his idea of failure is a bit different. His idea of failure is never trying to begin with, being afraid to risk and instead hunkering down with the little we've got. (the parable of the talents comes to mind)
Motherhood is a great opportunity for growth, failure, and this humbling learning process. If children only came to those mothers who were highly gifted in motherhood then I think most of us would still be waiting for children. God gives us so many opportunities to rise to the challenge, to do what we are not naturally inclined toward, exceptionally gifted in, or properly trained for. Through these challenges we fall on our faces, we get bruised, we learn to cling to grace and loosen our grip on pride.
I think the main thing I'm learning though, is that God loves me. I know I was supposed to have learned that in Sunday School 25 years ago but I'm still learning. I am loved ridiculously, abundantly, over the top. I am loved when I screw up, I am loved when I'm not good enough. I am loved when I make a big mess of everything. And being that well loved makes everything okay. It makes it okay to try and fail because if you fail there is nothing but big, huge, amazing, unstoppable love to catch you.
As I have matured though, I've learned something about myself, I like to be physically active. For so long I missed that because I didn't think I was skilled enough to do anything athletic. That is the problem with having perfectionist tendencies; you think you can't enjoy anything unless you do it well. I am learning that is not the case.
Doing something new, something you are not naturally skilled at, means that you will probably do it poorly. This is a great opportunity to cultivate humility. It is a great opportunity to grow. It is also terribly painful (at least if you have perfectionistic tendencies).
I'm not really even sure why I am writing this. I just know I hate losing. If I feel like I've done something poorly, I feel like I have failed. But the truth God is teaching me is that his idea of failure is a bit different. His idea of failure is never trying to begin with, being afraid to risk and instead hunkering down with the little we've got. (the parable of the talents comes to mind)
Motherhood is a great opportunity for growth, failure, and this humbling learning process. If children only came to those mothers who were highly gifted in motherhood then I think most of us would still be waiting for children. God gives us so many opportunities to rise to the challenge, to do what we are not naturally inclined toward, exceptionally gifted in, or properly trained for. Through these challenges we fall on our faces, we get bruised, we learn to cling to grace and loosen our grip on pride.
I think the main thing I'm learning though, is that God loves me. I know I was supposed to have learned that in Sunday School 25 years ago but I'm still learning. I am loved ridiculously, abundantly, over the top. I am loved when I screw up, I am loved when I'm not good enough. I am loved when I make a big mess of everything. And being that well loved makes everything okay. It makes it okay to try and fail because if you fail there is nothing but big, huge, amazing, unstoppable love to catch you.
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