Joe's thoughts and Pregnancy Top 10
This morning while I was cooking eggs for breakfast I was telling Joe that 100 years ago there was no such thing as sliced bread, or airplanes, or the Internet. (Immediately after this escaped my mouth I realized it might not be true - for I don't actually know the dates for the first sliced bread and airplane).
Joe responded with a sincere, "Oh, dear!". Not sure if he was actually listening to my rambling or had just broken the toy he was playing with, I asked him, "Why did you say 'oh, dear'. "Because," he said, "There was no Internet and airplanes 100 years ago." I think that Pooh would concur, although he might have said, "Oh bother!"
Top Ten Great Things about Being Pregnant :
1. The underwear. Although I never cease to be amazed by the size of my belly, I am even more amazed at the size of my enormous maternity underwear. They could be used in the event of an airplane crash as parachutes. Just looking at them makes me laugh out loud. They are huge. For some reason they seem bigger than all other maternity clothes that fit over the top of them. It makes no sense, but there you have it.
2. Ability to unabashedly consume large portions of ice cream in public without ever being chastised by onlookers. In fact, they usually say something courteous like, "You have to eat for two now." while smiling at you sympathetically.
3. Not having to move stuff. "Oh honey, could you carry these 72 baskets of laundry up the stairs for me. You know I would have done it myself this afternoon if my back wasn't bothering me so much." Plus you are automatically exempt from helping anyone who may be moving.
4. Having something to talk about. A giant belly (apparently only when it contains a growing human) is an instant conversation starter. All sorts of people who would have found you completely uninteresting months before suddenly stop and smile and want to talk to you about your upcoming event.
5. Being genuinely fat, and yet having everyone tell you that you are not. I think this needs no explanation. It is obvious that I have gained 50lbs give or take and that my baby (God willing) is less than 10lbs of that. So there are some extra unaccounted for pounds floating around. However, it is known in our society that this weight is purely sacrificial weight being carried for the privilege of sustaining our species. So that is why when I go around declaring how large I feel, everyone replies, "It's all baby" (heaven lets hope not!) or "You don't look that big." It is a small lie that is necessary for the continuation of humanity.
6. Going to water aerobics. First of all, the instructors say you can get just as good of a workout here as anywhere else. That may be true. However all the people I have met in water aerobics are extremely kind, friendly and either overweight, elderly, ill, or pregnant. It is alot of fun and a great workout for a pregnant person - I just don't think it is going to cut it to help me get rid of those 50 aforementioned pounds. To do that I will have to subject myself to abuse in some class like, "body conditioning" and it will have to be on land so the instructor will see if I am only doing half of the exercise and chastise me.
7. Having a legitimate reason not to cook any night of the week. "Honey, if I had tried to make dinner tonight, someone would have died, seriously. Lets go out."
8.Foot massages. Granted, my husband has the foot rubbing endurance of a three year old (I know this based on actual testing). Nonetheless, he will willingly, if not enthusiastically, rub my puffy feet every night. (If I pin him down on the couch with them and refuse to move until they have been sufficiently lotioned). I think something about their mutated swollen appearance moves him to compassion. Either that or he doesn't want to risk the wrath of a pregnant woman. :)
9. Walking. My husband will almost always take me on a walk if I ask him (I'm like the family pet now I guess.). Even if he has worked a 12 hour day on his feet and is exhausted, he will go because he knows it is important for my health. After all, I have explained to him that without this regular exercise I may die of varicose veins, swollen ankles, extreme bowel compaction, restless leg syndrome, back pain, or even worse my muscles may disintegrate into a gelatinous substance and be unable to push the baby out.
10. Growing a person! This is by far the very best thing of all and makes any other ailment pale by comparison. It is crazy looking down at your tummy while it is moving around without your input. It is even more amazing when a real person comes out and you realize, "Holy crap, I helped to grow that thing!" There is no blessing God has given us like the blessing of children. It's so fun to be part of the miracle.
Joe responded with a sincere, "Oh, dear!". Not sure if he was actually listening to my rambling or had just broken the toy he was playing with, I asked him, "Why did you say 'oh, dear'. "Because," he said, "There was no Internet and airplanes 100 years ago." I think that Pooh would concur, although he might have said, "Oh bother!"
Top Ten Great Things about Being Pregnant :
1. The underwear. Although I never cease to be amazed by the size of my belly, I am even more amazed at the size of my enormous maternity underwear. They could be used in the event of an airplane crash as parachutes. Just looking at them makes me laugh out loud. They are huge. For some reason they seem bigger than all other maternity clothes that fit over the top of them. It makes no sense, but there you have it.
2. Ability to unabashedly consume large portions of ice cream in public without ever being chastised by onlookers. In fact, they usually say something courteous like, "You have to eat for two now." while smiling at you sympathetically.
3. Not having to move stuff. "Oh honey, could you carry these 72 baskets of laundry up the stairs for me. You know I would have done it myself this afternoon if my back wasn't bothering me so much." Plus you are automatically exempt from helping anyone who may be moving.
4. Having something to talk about. A giant belly (apparently only when it contains a growing human) is an instant conversation starter. All sorts of people who would have found you completely uninteresting months before suddenly stop and smile and want to talk to you about your upcoming event.
5. Being genuinely fat, and yet having everyone tell you that you are not. I think this needs no explanation. It is obvious that I have gained 50lbs give or take and that my baby (God willing) is less than 10lbs of that. So there are some extra unaccounted for pounds floating around. However, it is known in our society that this weight is purely sacrificial weight being carried for the privilege of sustaining our species. So that is why when I go around declaring how large I feel, everyone replies, "It's all baby" (heaven lets hope not!) or "You don't look that big." It is a small lie that is necessary for the continuation of humanity.
6. Going to water aerobics. First of all, the instructors say you can get just as good of a workout here as anywhere else. That may be true. However all the people I have met in water aerobics are extremely kind, friendly and either overweight, elderly, ill, or pregnant. It is alot of fun and a great workout for a pregnant person - I just don't think it is going to cut it to help me get rid of those 50 aforementioned pounds. To do that I will have to subject myself to abuse in some class like, "body conditioning" and it will have to be on land so the instructor will see if I am only doing half of the exercise and chastise me.
7. Having a legitimate reason not to cook any night of the week. "Honey, if I had tried to make dinner tonight, someone would have died, seriously. Lets go out."
8.Foot massages. Granted, my husband has the foot rubbing endurance of a three year old (I know this based on actual testing). Nonetheless, he will willingly, if not enthusiastically, rub my puffy feet every night. (If I pin him down on the couch with them and refuse to move until they have been sufficiently lotioned). I think something about their mutated swollen appearance moves him to compassion. Either that or he doesn't want to risk the wrath of a pregnant woman. :)
9. Walking. My husband will almost always take me on a walk if I ask him (I'm like the family pet now I guess.). Even if he has worked a 12 hour day on his feet and is exhausted, he will go because he knows it is important for my health. After all, I have explained to him that without this regular exercise I may die of varicose veins, swollen ankles, extreme bowel compaction, restless leg syndrome, back pain, or even worse my muscles may disintegrate into a gelatinous substance and be unable to push the baby out.
10. Growing a person! This is by far the very best thing of all and makes any other ailment pale by comparison. It is crazy looking down at your tummy while it is moving around without your input. It is even more amazing when a real person comes out and you realize, "Holy crap, I helped to grow that thing!" There is no blessing God has given us like the blessing of children. It's so fun to be part of the miracle.
Comments
my husband's back rubbing endurance is also that of a three year old and I've resorted to asking Sam to rub me instead. lol