Buy yourself some flowers.
Having been married almost 10 years now, I have dealt with my share of holiday dejection. I have spent many holidays, stupidly feeling sorry for myself because some unrealistic expectation was not met. Namely, my husband did not have the ability read my mind and know what things were special to me. We fall into the trap so easily. 
We see the commercials, we read the novels, watch the romantic fairy tales. We know, love is based on grandiose gestures of sweeping romance. We end up in shock and awe when the tingles wear off and our knight has failed to do it like they do in the movies. Where are all those red roses petals? The only things scattered over my floor are unswept particles of play dough and dried cereal; not a rose petal in sight.
The truth is that the "romance" we come to expect from watching those cheesy jewelry commercials, is not the stuff of love. Real love comes from a real man. A real man may or may not give chocolates, sappy love letters, and flowers on all holidays. What a real man does do is give himself, and not just on holidays, but everyday. A real man can often be found in the dark of winter waking before the sun shines, without complaint, because he is willing to work hard to provide and care for his family.
A real man might be found changing diapers in the middle of the night, or cradling a weeping child in his arms. He is faithful in his love and doesn't ask for all that much in return. He would give his life to protect those he loves. In fact he often gives his life in small every day moments, choosing to be with the family rather than pursue a favorite hobby, giving up the game for a family birthday party, fixing the drain when he would rather be relaxing on the couch after a long day at work. I know because I happen to be lucky enough to be married to one such man.
I read in a book about romance that you need to cultivate it for yourself. That was good advice. I like flowers, I like candles, I like chocolate. So I buy them for myself. If my husband happens to get me some too then I will have double! The point is, my husband is good at SO many things. He is amazing. He just doesn't happen to be all about romance. I am good at that, so why don't I take responsibly for it? After all, he is good at the plumbing repair, and he is the one who takes responsibility for that.
So for the first time this Valentine's Day, I am embracing the freedom to be happy. I bought myself flowers (okay I told Titus I got them for him but we all know who they were really for). Instead of being selfish, (isn't that what women are supposed to do on holidays?) I have the opportunity to learn what real love is. It's the love the Christ showed us, the love that serves, the love that gives.
If you are lucky enough to have one of those real men, the kind who would gladly give his right arm to protect you, remember to show him you love him today. They say the way to a man's heart is through is stomach. (all the married ladies know a second way as well. :) ) Lets be those amazing women who find our true fulfilment in Christ and can give freely love without demanding something in return. Who knows, you may even get some flowers out of the deal. If not, go make him some chocolate covered strawberries ;)
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