Welcome to Motherhood New Mom
Hello You,
I see you there and I laugh. I know it's horrible, but I laugh because I remember where you are and I'm so glad I lived through to tell about it. At the time I didn't think I would. The zombie like state of living without sleep, the worry that you were going to mess something up, the daydreams imaging a baby return center where you might be able to get a refund, no questions asked.
Becoming a mother does something extraordinary to you. It allows you to take everything that you thought you knew about life and stow it securely in a file marked, "Everything I thought I knew about life." Then you can keep it there in that tidy little file for reference and to look back on when you need a good laugh.
When I see you there, with your eyes glazed over from sleepless nights, teetering on the brink of sanity, I feel like I should have warned you. But what could I have said? To talk of the difficulties of being a mom to someone who has yet to experience the miracle of the thing, just doesn't make sense.
Yes there is pain. You may wonder if you will live through the process of having a newly born person, completely dependent on you to meet their every need. You will.
These little people, they demand much of us. They demand all of us, for a time. We never realize the depth of our selfishness until we are called upon so completely to live for someone else.
But I wanted to tell you something. Right now, you are making someone's world. Seldom in our lives do we have the chance to impact someone's life the way a mother impacts the life of her young child. The security, bonding and love that your child is absorbing now will affect them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes it doesn't seem that important. They won't even remember. Heck, you may not remember, sleep deprivation is rough on a brain.
But there is something magical about these tender baby years. I know we don't often think of it this way but there is a passage of scripture that comes to mind where Jesus says:
0 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Mt 25:40
Our little ones are the least of these. They are small and helpless. We feed them when they are hungry, clothe them when they are naked, care for them when they are sick. Being a mom gives us the chance to serve Jesus every day, even when it hurts. When we give our lives so freely in service it is a blessing to our precious children and it touches the heart of father God. And that is what I see you doing now, though a hormone filled, sleep lacking fog.
If you don't mind I want to share 2 pieces of advice that helped me survive.
1) Get help!
I don't know where we get this idea that we are supposed to be a lone ship on the seas of life, weathering every storm with stalwart determination. A ship on it's own is likely to end up like the Titanic, at least if it's a mother ship. (ha ;) ) You cannot do this alone. You will have a breakdown. I'm not kidding. Call upon every person who has offered you help and say YES!. Call upon those who haven't offered help and ask. Call upon your family, call upon your church, call upon the neighborhood watch if necessary. You need a break, you need a nap, you need a moment of solitude to think one sane thought. When people do hard stuff, they have help. Have you ever seen a mission to space done by a single person? No, they have a gobs of people working toward a common goal. And they are just launching a space ship. You are launching a whole new person into their life! If you don't know it, there is a team of people rooting for you as a mother and for your new baby, they would love to surround and support you. If you don't believe me wander into a LLL meeting, a MOPS group, or a healthy church and you will find them there. You are not alone!
2) Check you ruler.
God gave me this great image of a measuring tape. He measured me and said, "You measure up. Your measure is the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Your measure is more than good enough. Your measure is the beloved, more than a conquer, acceptable in His sight, seated with Christ in heavenly places. Your measure is adorable, worthy, lovable and perfect. Christ is in you so your measure is Jesus." This gave me great material to help me laugh at the devil when he comes and tries to tell me that my ratings are down as a mom, housecleaner, household manager, cook, caretaker, homemaker, beautiful woman, ect. When you are searching for value, don't look to the cleanliness of the bathroom, the quality of the fare that emanates from your kitchen, or the size of your waistline. You are important because HE says so. You are valuable because HE made you that way. You are doing an amazing job because HE fashioned you for this job. Be careful not to let temporal things (how your house or wardrobe look) keep you from realizing eternal truth (that your value is immense).
You may look in the mirror and see someone who can only fit in maternity clothes despite the fact that she is no longer pregnant. You may see someone who is in over her head. But that is not what I see. I see the true beauty of a woman who has decided to live life for something greater than herself. I see a woman who is stronger than she knows. Your love is marked in the tear streams that fall down from your puffy eyes. You are pouring all of who you are into this mission called motherhood. Welcome, newby, you are my hero.
I see you there and I laugh. I know it's horrible, but I laugh because I remember where you are and I'm so glad I lived through to tell about it. At the time I didn't think I would. The zombie like state of living without sleep, the worry that you were going to mess something up, the daydreams imaging a baby return center where you might be able to get a refund, no questions asked.
Becoming a mother does something extraordinary to you. It allows you to take everything that you thought you knew about life and stow it securely in a file marked, "Everything I thought I knew about life." Then you can keep it there in that tidy little file for reference and to look back on when you need a good laugh.
When I see you there, with your eyes glazed over from sleepless nights, teetering on the brink of sanity, I feel like I should have warned you. But what could I have said? To talk of the difficulties of being a mom to someone who has yet to experience the miracle of the thing, just doesn't make sense.
Yes there is pain. You may wonder if you will live through the process of having a newly born person, completely dependent on you to meet their every need. You will.
These little people, they demand much of us. They demand all of us, for a time. We never realize the depth of our selfishness until we are called upon so completely to live for someone else.
But I wanted to tell you something. Right now, you are making someone's world. Seldom in our lives do we have the chance to impact someone's life the way a mother impacts the life of her young child. The security, bonding and love that your child is absorbing now will affect them for the rest of their lives. Sometimes it doesn't seem that important. They won't even remember. Heck, you may not remember, sleep deprivation is rough on a brain.
But there is something magical about these tender baby years. I know we don't often think of it this way but there is a passage of scripture that comes to mind where Jesus says:
0 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Mt 25:40
Our little ones are the least of these. They are small and helpless. We feed them when they are hungry, clothe them when they are naked, care for them when they are sick. Being a mom gives us the chance to serve Jesus every day, even when it hurts. When we give our lives so freely in service it is a blessing to our precious children and it touches the heart of father God. And that is what I see you doing now, though a hormone filled, sleep lacking fog.
If you don't mind I want to share 2 pieces of advice that helped me survive.
1) Get help!
I don't know where we get this idea that we are supposed to be a lone ship on the seas of life, weathering every storm with stalwart determination. A ship on it's own is likely to end up like the Titanic, at least if it's a mother ship. (ha ;) ) You cannot do this alone. You will have a breakdown. I'm not kidding. Call upon every person who has offered you help and say YES!. Call upon those who haven't offered help and ask. Call upon your family, call upon your church, call upon the neighborhood watch if necessary. You need a break, you need a nap, you need a moment of solitude to think one sane thought. When people do hard stuff, they have help. Have you ever seen a mission to space done by a single person? No, they have a gobs of people working toward a common goal. And they are just launching a space ship. You are launching a whole new person into their life! If you don't know it, there is a team of people rooting for you as a mother and for your new baby, they would love to surround and support you. If you don't believe me wander into a LLL meeting, a MOPS group, or a healthy church and you will find them there. You are not alone!
2) Check you ruler.
God gave me this great image of a measuring tape. He measured me and said, "You measure up. Your measure is the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Your measure is more than good enough. Your measure is the beloved, more than a conquer, acceptable in His sight, seated with Christ in heavenly places. Your measure is adorable, worthy, lovable and perfect. Christ is in you so your measure is Jesus." This gave me great material to help me laugh at the devil when he comes and tries to tell me that my ratings are down as a mom, housecleaner, household manager, cook, caretaker, homemaker, beautiful woman, ect. When you are searching for value, don't look to the cleanliness of the bathroom, the quality of the fare that emanates from your kitchen, or the size of your waistline. You are important because HE says so. You are valuable because HE made you that way. You are doing an amazing job because HE fashioned you for this job. Be careful not to let temporal things (how your house or wardrobe look) keep you from realizing eternal truth (that your value is immense).
You may look in the mirror and see someone who can only fit in maternity clothes despite the fact that she is no longer pregnant. You may see someone who is in over her head. But that is not what I see. I see the true beauty of a woman who has decided to live life for something greater than herself. I see a woman who is stronger than she knows. Your love is marked in the tear streams that fall down from your puffy eyes. You are pouring all of who you are into this mission called motherhood. Welcome, newby, you are my hero.
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