Expectaions

I expected joy, but I got pain.
I expected the sun but found the rain.
I expected life, but I got death.
I expected noise, but I got silence.
I expected change, but I got more of the same.
I expected growth, but I got stillness.
I expected relationship, but I got cut off.
I expected a baby, but I got a hole in my heart instead.
I expected fun, but I got sadness.
I expected a friend, but I got a memory.
I expected someone to hold, but my arms came up empty.
I expected to be stretched, but I feel shriveled.
I expected to be tired from sleep loss, but instead I am weary from grief.
I expected that I wouldn't know what to do with a girl, but now I would give anything for the chance to have tried.