Bloomsday Training Pt 1
Now that I have gone jogging three times, I feel that I am able to speak authoritatively on the subject of running. Running is not for everyone..... only those who enjoy torturing themselves. If you should decide that you qualify I have put together a list of tips to help you get started:
1. Should you feel discouraged, try to find someone less athletic than you and get on the treadmill right next to them. Today I found a grandma on a leisurely stroll on one treadmill and a new gym member on the other side, who was still figuring out how to use the buttons. This was ideal. If I looked to the right I felt like an athletic wonder, if I looked to the left I seemed a technical genius. (really I just use the quick start button, but she didn't need to know that).
2. I recommend using a good "carrot" for motivation. I find watching the food network is a suitable motivation, so long as they are not cooking actual carrots. Preferably there will be something really sinful and fattening to watch like fried chicken being dropped into a vat of hot oil, or the making of the world's best prime rib sandwhich.
3. Use the numbers to your advantage. I like the treadmill as opposed to running outside because of all the pretty numbers I can use to distract myself. For example, you can watch the calories being burned to the decimal point, then think of all the tasty things worth that many calories. (be careful with this one though or you may find yourself half way through your workout, look down and think, holy crap all that work was only worth 80z of coke, this is pointless!) I also like to look at the minutes counting down. When there are nine minutes left in your workout there is a handy mental trick you can use, which is to position yourself so that the nine looks like a four. Then you will think, "Yay, I only have four minutes to go. Even a sissy can run for 4 minutes!" There will be a slight disappointment getting through the eighth minute this way, but that is what the fried chicken watching is for.
4. Sweat. I find the hardest part of running is the first few minutes when your joints hurt, and well pretty much everything hurts. After you begin to work up a good sweat things start to click into place. For one thing, you can entertain yourself by trying to rain sweat droplets on your fellow treaders. I always get special satisfaction out of sweating because I figure I am purging toxins, and who doesn't want to do that? It is around this time that I begin to lose visibility from the sweat drops in my eyes, and wish I had one of those attractive terry cloth head bands. This, or course, reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite, bringing a smile to my face and propelling me onward.
I will keep you posted as I continue on my goal toward running bloomsday 2010!
1. Should you feel discouraged, try to find someone less athletic than you and get on the treadmill right next to them. Today I found a grandma on a leisurely stroll on one treadmill and a new gym member on the other side, who was still figuring out how to use the buttons. This was ideal. If I looked to the right I felt like an athletic wonder, if I looked to the left I seemed a technical genius. (really I just use the quick start button, but she didn't need to know that).
2. I recommend using a good "carrot" for motivation. I find watching the food network is a suitable motivation, so long as they are not cooking actual carrots. Preferably there will be something really sinful and fattening to watch like fried chicken being dropped into a vat of hot oil, or the making of the world's best prime rib sandwhich.
3. Use the numbers to your advantage. I like the treadmill as opposed to running outside because of all the pretty numbers I can use to distract myself. For example, you can watch the calories being burned to the decimal point, then think of all the tasty things worth that many calories. (be careful with this one though or you may find yourself half way through your workout, look down and think, holy crap all that work was only worth 80z of coke, this is pointless!) I also like to look at the minutes counting down. When there are nine minutes left in your workout there is a handy mental trick you can use, which is to position yourself so that the nine looks like a four. Then you will think, "Yay, I only have four minutes to go. Even a sissy can run for 4 minutes!" There will be a slight disappointment getting through the eighth minute this way, but that is what the fried chicken watching is for.
4. Sweat. I find the hardest part of running is the first few minutes when your joints hurt, and well pretty much everything hurts. After you begin to work up a good sweat things start to click into place. For one thing, you can entertain yourself by trying to rain sweat droplets on your fellow treaders. I always get special satisfaction out of sweating because I figure I am purging toxins, and who doesn't want to do that? It is around this time that I begin to lose visibility from the sweat drops in my eyes, and wish I had one of those attractive terry cloth head bands. This, or course, reminds me of Napoleon Dynamite, bringing a smile to my face and propelling me onward.
I will keep you posted as I continue on my goal toward running bloomsday 2010!
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