Crazy Messy

One of my favorite stories with a friend of mine  is when she was telling us about this horribly run down house she had encountered. She was describing in detail how disguising  and unkempt it was. In a dramatic flourish she raised her hands up and gestured in a sweeping motion as she tried to portray the depth of dilapidation of this house, "Even their blinds were broken and falling apart." Then a look of horror passed over her face as she glanced up and saw our front room.: 

She began to stammer, trying to remove her foot from her mouth, Then we all burst out laughing. It is hard to keep your house in good order when you have little kids. When we sold our home last year I had to clean and take a picture of one room at a time, because it was nearly impossible to get the whole house clean at one time. Here was the clean office, the rest of the house was a mess.

That brings me to installment two of "Hard Things" about homeschooling.

You may never have a clean house again. At least, it may never be clean all at the same time.

I remember when I used to babysit for my brother's family. They had 5 kids and home schooled. I would walk into their house and there would be bowls of upturned cereal that had stuck to the dining room table, the soggy cereal having dried to form a sort of cement. There were unspeakable horrors in every bathroom. The washer and dryer would be hidden behind the piles of laundry. I would spend the whole time cleaning and never sit down, thinking, I can't relax in this mess.

Now, that mess is my life, I can spend hours cleaning and after only a matter of minutes, my children will be able to erase all the evidence of my efforts. It is exhausting. It can be discouraging, if you let it. In all honesty, I will say this is one of the toughest things about having your kids home all the time.

If you couple this constant closeness of children with a philosophy that doesn't promote entertainment by screens, you are in double trouble. Then there really is no time during each day that they are not actively making a mess (aka  creatively playing).  There are forts continually, wars being staged, pretend businesses set up, factories run. Whole empires have risen and sunk in my basement play room. It may look like a giant pit - but they are having so much fun.

I once read in a Dr. Dobson's book, that women are wired to be the keepers of the home. In general, we take on an identity that is tied to our home, much like most men find a strong sense of identity in their work. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it can be a bad thing if our identity is not first and foremost rooted in who we are in Christ.

For that reason, having an often disgusting house, isn't necessarily a bad thing. It gives me an opportunity to remember that "keeper of the home" is not my first title. My first and most important title is "Daughter of God, accepted by Jesus, loved by the King, redeemed one."  When I can't look around and validate myself by the work that I have accomplished, it is good to know that I don't have to. This is always a struggle for me, but it draws me closer to Jesus. I do want to be a good steward of the things he has given me, and I work hard to do that, but I know that is not the most important part of my story.

The most important part is relationships. If having my kids at home fosters better relationships for us, then it is worth the mess. Relationship is always worth the mess, that's one thing we can learn for Jesus' example.