Self Care

As homeschooling moms, it is easy to completely forget to take care of ourselves. Whenever I ask a homeschooling mom what she does in her spare time, she usually laughs.  So today, I want to challenge us with a few thoughts on taking care of ourselves. 

Here's a list of things I enjoy doing, just for the fun of it. 

1. Bake 

2. Have coffee with a friend

3. Have coffee by myself

4. Go for a walk

5. Work out without kids

6. Read

7. Write

8. Hang out with people (other than the small ones that live in my house)

9. Give, Share or Speak to encourage others

10. Play Games

I am reading a thought provoking marriage book. The first of the author's six points is that you need to indulge in self-care. Her point is that if you are not happy as an individual, there is no way you can be happy as a couple. Her suggestion is to make a list of things that make you happy and do 3 of them every day. 

When I first read this I was mildly offended. This seemed wrong, so indulgent. Make ME happy? What about all the people that come first, my husband, children, GOD. Aren't I supposed to work on making them happy? Generally, I  have this nagging feeling that God will be happier if I am suffering. I don't know where this feeling comes from, but I am beginning to think it's time to kick it to the curbside with all the other unnecessary junk that fills my house.  This feeling has always justified itself through scriptures like "take up your cross, deny yourself and follow me."  Deny yourself. That's what the Bible says. The words of Jesus echo through my mind, "Not my will, but yours be done."  Isn't the point of being a Christian that we surrender our will to him? 

However, the Bible also says that Jesus suffered for the joy that was set before him. It says that there are pleasures evermore at the right hand of the Father. Jesus came (and suffered) that we might have life more abundantly, that means soul and spirit life in exceeding measure.

In trying to figure this out, I've been thinking about Jesus. The Bible often references Jesus going to a mountain top or out to sea. Maybe he was an outdoor adventure seeker, climber, water sports enthusiast. Maybe he loved these things and connected to daddy God while doing them. I don't know.  But I do know that people loved to be around Jesus. Not the uptight religious people, but the everyday pagans. People with issues, people like us. They were drawn to Jesus. This makes me think he must have been a pretty fun guy. I doubt he walked under a cloud of despondency, burdened by all the things he had to do (and he came to take on the weight of sin for the entire world!) . He said that his burden is light. That seems to convey a certain lack of heaviness. 

I'm not saying we should throw caution to the wind and hedonistically pursue every desire of our flesh. We need God to show us how to balance our time between the things we would like to do and the things we should do. This is an internal struggle I have had for years. Will God be mad if I have a coffee break, or a bubble bath or take time to go for a walk every day. Shouldn't I be saving the world? But the truth is, with all the time that I don't take care of myself I haven't been out saving the world (as if I could!). I'm usually  moping around the house feeling tired and burned out. 

Making a plan of things we should or shouldn't do each day is not enough. We have to submit that plan to Him, ask Him to breath life on it and trust his promise that He will lead and guide us into all truth. In short, we need relationship with him. Maybe taking time for ourselves will allow us time to connect with him. My challenge to us busy moms is to step out and take action to care for ourselves and trust the Holy Spirit to be our guide as we go.